jalta hai kya???

i was not even little disappointed on hearing about the result of net and kas exams in the past one week or so. though i had not participated fully in the kas exam, but i did in the other one and have now been credited with a third successive defeat on this national exam of eligibility for lectureship. there are a number of reasons for my lack of instant disappointment over this failure, but there is sure to arise with the passing of the coming days, a sense of disappointment. that in itself is another matter altogether.
first let me try to identify the causes behind the first reaction-or the lack of it:
1. i had not prepared well for this exam and this goes in sync with my philosophy of everybody needs to be given his due...
2. the second thing is that i am presently outside my home and any sort of failure has to let me make miserable to get a reaction from me--this simply didn't, not at this moment of time.
the second thing may happen due to the assumption that some of my colleagues may have cracked-or may crack in the case of kas-the exam and thus will prove to be a sore in my spine and render me spineless till the time i may get something bigger than these two things...