over stressed

My mind will burst someday. but i know how to cope as well. i only need your good wishes. yesterday i was made to go midway of writing my blog when Parvaiz-chem, called me. and my blog was left incomplete. someone has to make me remember what i was writing about yesterday. Obiously it was about you--Fayaz. i will be writing for you for some time now. Yes, now i remember. i wrote about going by your gut feeling and using your strong points to defend yourself and project yourself in a dignified way. never underestimate yourself as you have got a lot of inherent capabilities that a majority of your counterparts lack. also never shy away from your responsibilities and opportunities. grab every opportunity that comes your way in order to increase your prestige and aura among the students and teachers.in order to learn a thing never shy away from it--even if you have to strangle a few of your not-so-neccessary ideals and principles. have a good rapport with the girl folk as segregation will lead to raised-eyebrows. i know you will balance this well and will not be distracted a bit by them in the process.May God will help you in this endeavour-to come out clean from the den of bikini-clad girls and that successfuly. i want to write a lot but will now stop to know your reaction to my blogs. only after that will i continue my blogs and this fictitious-cum-advisory series regarding your stay in delhi...................aaaaaaaaaakkkkk.

doomed

I am doomed to fail if i continue this way. today it was my first paper in the ongoing exams and i don't feel i am feeling sorry to say that i have not done well in the exam. as i didn't try my best for the exam, may be that was a reason for this poor performance. but that is no excuse which will save me before a normal human being who neither knows my intuition nor my dullness; according to my own self these are two hallmarks of mine which carry me forward. actually the problem with me is that i don't know what my goal is. i think of a thousand different things during the course of a day- not to speak of any long term plans- which lure me towards themselves. i wish somebody out there in the vast world of web, gives me a sincere opinion about my goals and plans for the future-----but yes that excludes the ever ready-for-advice friend of mine---FAYAZ. this is because i know what he is going to say for my problem. As for Fayaz, he has got loads of advice from me in my other blogs.

distances

I want to tell the whole world that i am not a weak person. if a friend of mine is going to remain away from me for a pretty long period of time, i will not be complaining. today-fayaz-after going through tiring and streneous few days left for New Delhi and now is going to remain away for a pretty long period of time. i wish him all the very best in the city of Dilwalaz. as the exams are approaching i may not be able to write that occasionally as i used to write. but i will try my best to convey everything that i feel close towards;across the vast web service that i have availed of in the form of blogging. the one thing that i want my readers to know is that i write blogs essentially for myself. but i will not rule out the possibility of writing them for my friends and foes alike:the idea being whosoever will be able to strike my heart or mind, firstly..................

bolt from D BLUE

I may have sounded quite optimistic yesterday when i drooled over the possibilities of a happy and delightful union with my friend sometime next year-- when i thought both of us will be able to join the Reputed varsity next year. but today i am one of the most disspirited, disapointed, disgusted and perplexed of all the known human beings to me. the reason being that a dear--I hope i will not be loathing him or his decisions anytime, anywhere--friend of mine has decided to join JNU this year and make all of us--a full department of about two hundred souls--suffer and miss him a lot. i know that everybody around will cope with the passage of time. but the same is not the case with myself. i shall have to face this disaster of not being able to make it to the selected candidates of JNU's history batch for this current year. i accept till tommorow--when i didn't know whether my buddy was going to join the varsity or not--i was not feeling the same thing. but his decision made all the difference. that is not to say that i wished that he should not go there. on the contrary, when i saw his enthusiasm, i prodded him to go as this was a golden chance and ought not be missed. so many are happy with him and so many of the others have cogratulated him on this dubious distinction of getting the admission to this reputed varsity. i-- on my part may not have congratulated him in the earliest--wish him a very fruitful stay at Delhi. May God save him from all those things which he considers 'bad' and give him in abundance all those things which he considers as 'good'. I again pray to God that to make me join him next year in a happy reunion.

disapointment?

so this is all over. today it was the day of JNU results and i am not selected. but why do i give a damn about the fact that i haven't been able to pass this exam.? i was not serious in the first place when i applied for the PG course in the same subject in which i am doing my present PG from the KU. from the time of filling up the form to the time of going for the exam. i had lost further zeal to give a serious thiught about this exam. i played with the paper and was very happy throughout. A friend of mine was also giving this exam and he has been selected. but i know for sure that with all his enthusiasm he could not be able to go for this course in this most reputed institute of the country-- due to so many reasons. ideally i would not have given a thought about being a little bit disapointed if and ever i was not going to pass this exam. but the selection of my buddy made myself aware of something grave lacking in me-- which i need to find out and get myself benefitted from that in future.i know for sure that it is in me to pass such an exam. so why not push myself to some more limit in the future and reap the benefits of hardworkn? let the people talk as they would like to till then. i will always have the instant reply to their taunts--in the form of uselessness to have passed this exam. at a time when it was not needed by us!!!!!!!!! But in everybody's life there is a person whose views, comments and criticism about us are valuable--and may be killing at times. i hope the one in my life may not be harsher upon myself on this occasion. because that really disapoints......nah???

missing

why do we miss a person or a thing when it is not before our eyes or within our reach?you may most certainly say that it is the human instinct to do so and that all of us have got emotions and sensibilities, that we attach to different perssons,and in the process miss them when do not come to our rescue during our hard times. but i differ from such a view and would like to declare that it the weakness of we humans that makes us suffer during a friend's absence and thus makes us dependent on others for our happiness.you may say that this is going a bit too far on my part and that we humans have to develop such relations from time to time and that it is the only way through which society goes on dramatically;otherwise there will be chaos and disorder all around.I may like to say something for this but can't at this moment.i have got a lot of tensions to face in the coming weeks-notable among them being that of exam which is to start soon-and thus will have to take a long break from blogging.it is because i usually read during the exam days only,so the high stress levels are to be confronted now. the original question that i set out to answer at the start of this blog -that why does anybody miss somebody else- was because i am myself going to miss my classes now that we have got a 25 days preparatory leave for the exams.so many of my friends or just colleagues with whom i have developed a certain repertoire of listening to their pranks and sily doings,are going to be absent from the scene for this period.

friend

i find it very difficult to manage these very days.the reason seems to be some family problems that do not demand to be posted on net.i will rather give an idea about my psyche so that you will understand what disturbances, usually , irritate me and what remedy i try to figure out for them.i like to pull down my nose wherever it seems to comfort me.so it is imperative to think that i will be bound to use my services even if they are not needed there. wherever there is any problem with my surroundings i try to go after it with my heart and soul; as i am always of the impression that there is only myself left in the world who could solve that problem.and in the process i have many a time wrought misery and uneasiness upon myself.i would have been nonetheless happy with my approach towards people as well as the world,only and only if there would have been any successes written to my name. but unfortunately, in trying to help people i have only stumbled more and able to find out a solution for their problems only rarely.but that has not stopped me from going after other people's problems,not to speak of the problems of my own siblings and relatives. In order to increase my proficiency in solving other people's problems or trying to help others,i am desperately in need of a charismatic and a dynamic friend. a friend,i believe, can do wonders towards your approach to the whole world.